Don't travel next to me!

If you think you are unlucky when you travel, that is because you have not met me. I am one of the unluckiest people on earth when it comes to traveling. As much as I plan and try to look ahead there is always something that goes wrong. In a way, it is almost like I inherited this bad luck from my dad. This is why every time we travel, there is always a Guti-aventura. (If you don't speak Spanish you won't get it). I'd like to share with you my epic return from New York back to Mexico City because it is worth putting on paper. It will make people pity me, it will make others laugh, but most importantly, it will let me vent a little. So here goes.

After having some trouble with some paperwork in the US, I had to come back home without Naomi. This is awful for several reasons. I had to leave my car in a garage in the Bronx. Our stuff is stowed away in a storage unit by Jamaica Bay, and worst of all, Naomi is homeless in New York. About three days ago, I bought I one way ticket to Mexico City, stopping in Houston through Continental Airlines. It departed from La Guardia at 10:45 am. I have been living in a hostal for the past few days, and Naomi has been staying with a friend of hers in the Bronx. It has been uncomfortable to say the least. Because it was our last night together for about a month, and because I wanted to make sure I got to the airport on time, I decided to book ourselves a hotel room in Queens Boulevard. I don't know if you know New York, but suffice it to say that I paid 112 dollars for a room that would have been less than forty anywhere else in the country. The hotel was ok though. It was sufficiently clean and that is good enough at this point. Naomi slept, but I kept waking up. I have a really hard time going to sleep when I have a flight or something important the next day. The anxiety of oversleeping is so much that I can usually just sleep for two, maybe three hours. I woke up at seven, got up and took a shower. I finished packing and put the luggage in the car. We drove to La Guardia. Checked in within ten minutes of arrival and left for the Bronx. I don't like to brag, but I am a very good navigator. Only a couple of months and I know the city like a local. I had to leave my car in a filthy garage in the Bronx that charges--get this--$160 dollars a month! To keep my car! Isn't that amazing? Naomi went her way in the Bronx, and so did I. I took the subway from 149st into 125th in Harlem and then the M60 to La Guardia. (See? I even talk like a no good yank). I got to La Guardia and that is where the pain started. First off, they changed the gate. No biggie, really, but I kinda had to walk a little. Then the plane was delayed. Not too much though. The thing is that Air Force One was landing in La Guardia and Obama travels with two F-15's.

[By the way, Air Force One is any aircraft carrying the president. It can be a Boeing 777 or a Cezna. As long as the president of the US is in it, it is called Air Force One. Now I bet you didn't know that.]

We had to wait on the runway while Mr Obama landed at La Guardia. I think he was back for the whole UN thing, even though it is Saturday and the whole thing doesn't make sense. Well, that is what the captain said anyway. After take off, we had a VERY bumpy ride into Houston. The weather between Washington and Houston was just terrible. Houston was ok. The airport is not bad. It is not great, but it is not bad either. I had chinese food--which is completely irrelevant to the story, but what the heck.

After patiently waiting for almost three hours, the man at the gate asked all the passengers to verify passport before they started boarding. I really don't want to get into it, but let's just say that Homeland Security didn't like my being there and took me apart for questioning. They were suspicious because I had come into the US with a vehicle, and somehow, I was returning home without it.

The flight towards Mexico was ok. The flight was not bad, but the woman sitting next to me had BO. I left the aircraft and went to baggage claim to get my bags. As I was going through customs, the lady had me run the bags through X-rays. Because we have a lot of stuff to bring to Mexico, I had decided to load my luggage with Naomi's clothes. With me, I had 6 or 7 handbags. Oh boy! So here I was trying to explain to the lady that the handbags belong to my fiancee and that they are used. They did a thorough search before they let me go.

So here I am, sitting at home. I can't wait to go to bed. My eyes are shutting and I need to sleep. Next time you are on vacation; stay away from me.